I often get these phrases said to me "You're such a good Mom", "You're family is so beautifully perfect", " You're girls are so well behaved", "You're the ultimate super mom", "You can do anything, "You should have more children, you're good at what you do". I appreciate the compliments, but I am always trying to wrap my head around those thoughts. It's still so new to me, to be "that mom".
It's interesting being told these types of things. Like I am a this amazing mom that seems nearly impossible for other people to accomplish. But that is completely not the case. In fact, when other people say those things I think, really? I see every flaw I did that day, whether its we were running late, I forget to brush their hair, I am too lazy to cook and feed them cereal, my bathroom is dirty, I have piles of laundry, I lose my patience with them, anything. Do I have different expectations on my life absolutely. My house will never be perfect, I want it to look lived in. I don't let them talk back to me, and I carry pepper in my diaper bag because I don't believe in empty threats. I don't let them pick out their own clothes, they have to match. They will eat vegetables and fruit or no sweets. They will go to bed at 8:30. I don't want them to be lazy, but I want them to be kids, if they pick up their toys I am happy. People don't see what I see all the time. My girls are criers, they don't hit, they don't bite, they don't lie. But they cry, often. That's their "thing", it's so annoying. They are also attached to me, very much so and possibly a little too much. Bella-Grace has a pillow that I can't get rid of to save my life. Alexandria refused to potty train until she was 3 1/2, with a year of me being forceful. Alexandria refuses to apologize to people when she's guilty of something. None of that sounds perfect all, or beautiful. It sounds exhausting.
I do think of good qualities. Bella-Grace has never been I trouble at school. She loves to help, feels for others, follows directions, polite. Sissy has only had a few time outs, and with sissy that's huge, she is so loving, loves to help, wants to learn, has manners and good ones. Rebekah is just sweet Rebekah.
Everyone has good and bad qualities and just because I have 3 kids doesn't make me an expert, just a woman with 3 kids. Bella Grace is my experiment child, just like everyone else and their first. Alexandria takes LOTS of love and patience I think more than anyone could understand!! Rebekah is just Rebekah. But I attack mommy hood like other moms, blind and forceful.
I began to think about all these things this week when I was doing something before I had kids. I often think of what I did before children. I was creative, I painted a lot, I went out with people, I cooked a lot of fun things, had dinner dates with my husband, went shopping for me, took naps, and slept in. Everything was focused on myself and what I wanted. Now I'm up at 6-6:30 ready for my day with them in mind. Everything I do is for them. I had a business for them, I bake for them, I crochet for them, I shop for them, I cook for them, I lose dates for them, lose personnel time for them. And the last time I was able to paint was 3 years ago minus recently.
I'm not complaining. I'm just thinking, that all of that doesn't sound perfect. That I am exhausted just like other mom's. They are children with bad days like adults. They need me (vice versa). But next time you say, "you're like the perfect mom"' think twice, because trust me I'm not, and I am far from it. I can't do everything not even close, I just took what I love to do for myself, and survive by doing things for them, the very reason I breathe.
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